THE THREE STAGES OF COURTSHIP (1)

THE THREE STAGES OF COURTSHIP (PART 1)

 

“Just because something is good doesn’t mean you should pursue it right now. You have to remember that the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.”

• Anonymous

 

Gauging readiness for courtship is equally as important as gauging readiness for marriage. Most people often focus on the latter thinking courtship is where all the rehearsal and preparation is done. While this is true, there are also certain things to prepare for even before courtship. It’s like the rehearsal before the rehearsal.

While there is no blueprint for the exact duration of a courtship, it is safe to say that the entire process can be split into three stages:

1. Pre-Courtship
2. Courtship
3. Post-Courtship

 

STAGE 1 – PRE-COURTSHIP

The pre-courtship stage is where you should ask yourself the crucial questions that will help determine if you are in the right season of your life to actually enter into courtship. In this stage, you should ask yourself the following questions:

• Am I ready? Before you contemplate courtship, you should attain a certain level of personal independence. You have to make sure you are adequately prepared for the responsibilities of marriage and a family.
• Are we friends? This person you intend to court and someday marry, can you currently refer to him/her as your friend? Are you able to have crucial and healthy conversations with this person? Do you also see yourself being vulnerable with him/her? Sometimes, the easiest way to know if you and someone can be compatible is through friendship.
• Do we have similar interests? When you go on group dates, for instance, this would help both of you figure out certain things about one another without filters. Subsequently, you can decide to take it one step further and begin the process of formally committing to each other.
• Am I sure? Some people have said that when considering a life partner, they get a gut feeling about a certain someone not being the right one and another person being the one. Sometimes that small voice of conviction could actually be all the confirmation you need. Do you feel peace when you think about this person?

It is important to note that while the above criteria are important and contribute largely to the success of courtship, they only exist to help put you in the right mind-set for all that courtship requires. One simply cannot be a hundred percent ready for courtship.

Having answered the questions and fulfilled the aforementioned criteria, a man can then choose to officially declare his intention towards courtship, i.e., embarking on the journey towards ascertaining if the woman of his choice will be a perfect fit for him.

 

ACTION POINTS:

1. Based on the four-part assessment above, how ready would you say you are to court? Document your answer using a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being not ready and 10 being very ready.
2. Based on your answer to question one, list the areas you still need to work on and how are you doing so.